You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All the doctor said was why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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