he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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