You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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