I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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