my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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