nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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