Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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