Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
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Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize