Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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