why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize