From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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