but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
