So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
