we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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