Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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