He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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