make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
