he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize