It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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