just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
