I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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