Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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