The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
found the other keg... it's in the tree
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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