Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
