I'm gonna have a badass scar
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
