If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
