I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
