Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
