she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
