I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
