Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
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I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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