just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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