i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All I want is dick and wine.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
