i just google imaged poop.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Come back. Shots need mouths.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
