woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
