Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd cum for enchiladas.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
