Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
