I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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