Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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