Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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