also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
