so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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