hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
