so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
