My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
