I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
