Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she peed on how many people?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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