so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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