You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
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