I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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