office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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