I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
