if you like me you must not know who I am
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
