i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
