She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
