Why is your signature on my underwear?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
