shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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