Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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