Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
