THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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