So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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