Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
