If that was your dad, he is hot
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
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the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work